We Aren't Broken
Take a deep breath and say it with me:
”I am not broken.”
It so easy fall into that trap
“If I achieve this then I will be worthy.”
”If I do this, I will be good enough.”
”Why am I like this?”
”Why can’t I just…”
Its seductive to think we are not worthy, that we are a disappointment, but the safety we feel from hiding who we are only keeps us from touching people lives. From being the people they need us to be.
I feel for all the spiritual warriors out there who are terrified to accept themselves they way they are. You can chase external goals forever and never be happy. You can chase, and chase, and chase, and even achieve what you are seeking, but the moment of success will often only be fleeting at best. Possibly scary and disappointing at worst.
Happiness is found in the process, in each moment that we get to walk, and breathe, and eat as human beings. It comes from the moments where we get to connect with each other. To be love. Fufillment doesn’t come from being stagnant, but it also doesnt come from relentlessly thinking about goals and berating ourselves over every perceived misstep. If we have a practice, its getting on the mat, sitting in front of the easal, or playing our violin. Anxiety and desperation doesnt serve anyone, at least not in the long run. Utlimately if we want to change the world, we do that from a place of joy, creativity, and awareness. If we are going to be joyful, truly joyful, we have to let go of all the expectations that are holding us back from exploring our inner child. Fostering curiousity, and a desire to see the world as it IS, not what we want it to be. That’s the key to happiness.
That isn’t saying dont dream, it just means dont hang your entire soul on that dream, or you may just miss an opportunity waiting for you around the corner. Sometimes the universe has something better than we could have ever had planned in store. Don’t be afraid of the plot twist, look forward to it. No journey is fun without twists or turns. No hero defeats the villain when they are down on themselves. To beat the game you have to be clever, to take the chances you can, and play with the ideas that run through your head. If those thoughts are even useful. Which most of them are not.
Even worse is the need to meet other people’s expectations. The prison of disappointing others which keeps us trapped in bad habits. Keeps us from expressing ourselves. Keeps us from making mistakes, which is probably the most important thing for us to do. Instead of looking to be agreeable, we can be kind. If we disagree we can keep out the condescension from our voice. If we dont know we can simply admit it that. “I dont know.” We dont owe anyone to believe them blindly or take their advice. Nor do we need to cater to others insecurities. All we need is respect, for ourselves, and for each other.
Nothing is that serious that it should keep you from your joy. Even if your life is about to end in any moment. Actually, its especially not serious then.
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